Our wintertime in Singapore

Although we are now back in Tropical Singapore, I still count this as my 'winter time'. What I mean, is that I am treating it like it's a time for reflection and going 'inside'.

I truly discovered the meaning of this when we were working on the farm in Wales, outdoors non-stop from March till September this year. Long long days spent outdoor working on the land. Physically, I don't think I've ever been in this great shape.

But I certainly felt very 'lost' during those long summer months. Lost because this was the first time in my life where I was outside SO MUCH. Both physically, mentally and spiritually. It was as if I was out of touch with 'me'. It wasn't an instant realisation. But instead, just a gradual strange feeling of just constantly being in the present. Being in experience mode, instead of reflective mode.

As Fran, our farm host describes it - No time to ponder and think about life... just constant do do do! work work work. The summer months on any northern European farm means a short window of time to get everything done! Grow all the veg, plump up all the animals. Hurry while the sunlight is still high in the sky. "Make hay while the sun shines" as they would say.

Honestly, I was exhausted all the time. I crashed into bed by 9pm every night, and woke up 10 mins before breakfast at 8, my whole body sometimes still aching from the work the day before. Where was all my energy? How was it that Fran and Kevin were going going going like machines? Where did all their energy come from?

I then learnt from Fran, how she lives with the seasons. Like how our energy levels are different during different parts of the day - Morning = high, Noon = Peak, Afternoon = Slow down, Evening = Chill. For her, and most farmers, the wave of energy dips and peaks throughout the whole year. She tells me, summer is a time when you just don't have a moment to think too far ahead, or too far behind! You're busy from one day to the next, making sure the onions are in the ground so they will be harvested in time! The tomatoes get their feed so we can eat them ripe before the first frost. Getting the sheep sheared before it gets too hot and they start getting fly-strike. Everything is literally back to back.

So our mind, spirit, body is directed towards these immediate necessities that need to be done. So that when the leaves fall, and the vegetables stops to grow, one will have stored enough food to last you another tough winter.

Then winter comes. And everything slows down. The sunlight, once given in abundance, suddenly so sparse, and the nights are so loooong. It's cold and you want to stay by the warm fire as much as possible. Snuggle up with your loved ones and conserve all energy for next year. Winter down time. Time to go inwards, consolidate the whole year, reflect and plan.

It's funny now, looking back, I can see why it was so difficult for me to update my blog while in the farm. I couldn't bare being in that cold, dark room for long when I know it's just so beautiful outside. So I usually just quickly check my emails, send necessary updates to family and then get out! And somehow, I just wasn't able to have any proper reflective thoughts. It was like my mind was always blank. (very good for yogic/buddhist practices)

So after quite a big summer, we knew, we'd better try and get our proper winter's rest no matter where we are and what we are doing. And so far, for the last three weeks in Singapore, I've pretty much been quite good at it. Am catching up on my sleep. I am slowing down my physical exertions, eating more (hehhehheh), and definitely given myself a lot more time and space to reflect. I was at first feeling guilty about being so piggish and unproductive. But instead of guilt, why not just surrender into the present, and just flow with whatever comes my way? In fact, my sudden spurt of reflectiveness is the productive engine at work now. Lap it up!

So while the rest of the country turn up the volume with the partying, shopping and festivities, For the sake of balancing out the whole year, I am going to pretend that I am still at Old Chapel Farm and have my own quiet winter. :)